I have a video of Randy telling me all these things that he loves about me. One of the things that he stated that he loved about me was my passion for politics. He had amusement in watching me get fired up over it. My interest in politics began in 2015 as the 2016 election was gearing up. At the time, I was a registered republican and I had voted republican in every election up to that point. No part of me believed that my party would give Trump that nomination. When he did get the nomination, I went to the Clermont county democrats and volunteered to campaign against him. I knew what damage he could do and I couldn't stand idly by and let it happen. I was that person that was calling people to talk about Hillary. You see, it wasn't that I was a die hard Hillary lover but knowing that she was a better choice than the unstable person that Trump is. To the people that laughed when people like me were crying after the election, just know that what we have watched in the past 4 years is why we cried. We knew. You, for whatever reason, didn't.
Randy and I, for the most part, had the same views. I think the biggest difference we had was that I was pro-choice and Randy was pro-life. However, Randy would have equally told you that he doesn't have a right to tell you what's right for your life and wouldn't shame you for those choices. Randy despised Trump and he became more vocal about it after I came into his life. As things continued to happen, he couldn't stand by and be silent. He couldn't be complicit. He had a voice and he wanted to use it.
Randy and I said we already gave our information to Clermont County Democrats so that we could campaign against Trump in the 2020 election. It infuriated his mother and we did not care. We wanted to be on the right side of history.
Recently, I shared a huge reason that I am campaigning for Joe Biden and to those that have not seen it, I am going to share that now but this will have more detail than what you will see on facebook.
I met Randy in January of 2018 with the help of Christian Mingle. This man is everything that I ever prayed for. He proposed to me at the Clearwater Marine Aquarium in September of 2018. We were wedding planning and had so much excitement for our future when that world came crashing down. Randy was diagnosed with stage 4 gastrointestinal esophageal cancer at the end of December in 2018.
Randy began round one of chemotherapy in January of 2019. We took the doctor's recommendation for treatment plans at face value. We trusted his judgment. Randy was on folox and with each treatment, he felt worse. We were only 1 month into chemo when we received a letter that he had been dropped from Obamacare. Half way through the chemo, they ran a CT scan to see how well it was working where we learned all the tumors had shrunk. We were elated! We got to the 6th of 8 and he asked if we could stop. He felt like he was repeatedly hit by a truck. They encouraged him to continue.
We got married as scheduled in April of 2019 and he still had 1 chemo left and he did it after our return from our 3 day honeymoon.
Randy was admitted to the hospital at the end of May for neutropenia. After extensive testing, they could not find a source of infection and decided that his body was probably killing off the tumors in his body. We hoped and prayed that this was true. While in the hospital, they did a CT scan where we learned that the tumors in his lungs had been eliminated and all the others had shrunk! Phenomenal news!
One month later, Randy began having issues swallowing. We did another endoscopy where we learned that the original tumor (the one in his esophagus) had actually grown. My heart broke. How could this have changed in a month? Apparently, this specific tumor is hard to see in a CT scan and they need the endoscopy to determine it. This tumor began causing internal bleeding and he was admitted 1 week later for blood infusions and to start radiation. The radiation was used to shrink the tumor and stop the bleed. 10 treatments did the trick.
It was after we got him home that we received a large envelope from the hospital that totaled all the chemo, scans and visits. We were 6 months in and totaled at $125,000. My husband couldn't eat his dinner as he cried. He was apologizing for putting us so far in debt that we may not be able to recover from. I was horrified. I wiped away those tears and told him that his ONLY job was to get better. The bill to save his life can be dealt with but I needed him alive. I needed him to focus on getting better. He was devastated for days. This is something that no patient or family should have to face. NOT EVER!
In August, Randy was sent for another CT scan to see what his tumors are doing now that he was 3 months out of chemo. We were called and asked to come in the next day. I knew something was wrong. We were told that the tumors in his liver had grown in size and number. His liver had expanded and was causing the pain in his shoulder. It was pushing on his diaphragm and his lungs. He would have moments where he tried to catch his breath. He began round two of chemotherapy 1 week later. This treatment plan was taxol and cyramza. If I knew then what I know now, I would have demanded a different plan. I never would have allowed this. This is why I will never be able to trust another doctor. If you look at the cyramza website, it says that this medicine should not be given to people with ANY kind of liver disease as it can make it worse. When I asked why he gave this medicine to Randy (after I had lost him), his oncologist made it clear that he feels the word "any" refers to cirrhosis or hepatitis but not metastasis of cancer. Baffling. I will always be left to wonder if my husband was intentionally murdered by the health care system.
Randy was taken off of taxol and cyramza at the end of September and it was only then that I learned about how dangerous cyramza is (from an esophageal cancer support group) but it was too late. Damage was already done. Randy began a different chemo because taxol wasn't working (probably because cyramza made it worse).
Randy had a chemo scheduled for November 1st but I expressed concern the night prior about him doing it. Randy had not been well all week. He had been puking and not eating much. Randy agreed with my concerns and we decided to ask to postpone treatment 1 week. When we showed up that day, Randy told the doctor that he felt pressure in his belly. The doctor sent him for CT scan and scheduled a paracentesis because apparently with this chemo, fluid in the belly is common. Weird. But, we headed off to get the scan. The paracentesis was scheduled for November 6th. The pressure got worse with each passing day. We had our "last good day" on November 2nd which you can read about in an earlier blog.
On November 3rd, we went to the hospital for his scheduled hydration appointment. The same nurses who saw him on the 1st noticed that he looked worse. He was worse. They took him to the ER where an on-call oncologist came in. He tiptoed around questions and answers. I followed him out, looking for answers only to learn that Randy's lactic acid was 10.5 (normal human is 2). I was told that if his liver did not improve, I would probably only have weeks left with him. I about fell over. I grabbed the rail and I was just hysterical. My world was crumbling before my very eyes. I resent the fact that I had to be the one to tell my husband. I also had to ask him that if it came to it, does he want home hospice or in-patient which he told me he wanted to be at home. Not surprised. We loved being at home.
On November 4th, they attempted to do a paracentesis but discovered that there was no fluid- it was gas. He had a gas bubble causing that pain and discomfort. His lactic acid number was then at 7.6 but his kidney function had plummeted. So many doctors filtered in and out of the room that day but by 3pm we knew how serious his condition became. They called hospice to meet with me the next day.
On November 5th, Randy was even worse. The doctor told me that I had mere days left. I signed the papers for hospice and he arrived home around 9pm.
Randy passed away at 3:33AM on November 6th.
The 11 month total for his care to fight cancer was $181,000
I absolutely blame numerous people for the death of my husband but there are two that will linger forever. I blame the doctor for believing that the word "any" is subjective. I blame Donald Trump and the Republican Party for making severe cuts to the Affordable Care Act that resulted in millions (including Randy) losing their only source of health care.
Joe Biden knows the importance and significance of health care. He knows how complex it is and he understands that health care is a RIGHT instead of a privilege. Cancer survivorship went up with the Affordable Healthcare Act. I wish my husband could have been one of them but I know that Joe Biden will fight for the health care rights of many and with that, maybe others won't have to lose their person due to reckless and selfish behaviors.
Some of the wonderful comments in this post included "I am going to write 'for randy' on my ballot". These comments made me tear up as this story moved them. Although these comments were very sweet, writing something like this can give them reason to VOID you ballot. Do NOT write on your ballot! We have to remember the people that have been negatively affected by the Trump administration. You may not always hear about them but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen. My husband was affected. I want you to know it. Please, remember my husband when you vote on November 3rd.
Here is a piece that some still haven't figured out. You call yourself a patriot for following Trump even though a true patriot's allegiance is to their country instead of an idol. What we are seeing is people worshiping a person and putting the good of the country aside to blindly follow a person. It's deeply concerning. When Biden says we are in a battle for the soul of this nation, I believe that. We have seen blatant racism, xenophobic, homophobic and downright HATRED being spewed out in the last 4 years and that is not the America I grew up to know and love. That is Trump's America. That's not the America that we can be proud of. We have become a global embarrassment. It's time to change course and it is time to fight for the future of our nation. We must fight against fascism. We must fight against dictatorship. We must fight against homophobia, racism, xenophobia and any form of hatred that we continue to see. We must be the nation that defends the principles that we were founded upon. We cannot let one man sit in the people's White House and shred our constitution.
I have continuously struggled with the fact that I really don't want to be here anymore and doing what we planned on doing is one reason I'm still here. I want to follow through on that and campaign on behalf of both of us. There's too much at stake. We have to fight for our country.
If you support Joe Biden, please volunteer to campaign.
I am campaigning, just as Randy and I planned to do together. I will carry that torch for you, my love. This is in your honor.
We are 3 months out. It is time!
LET'S GO!
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