Not Functional

I think it is a real possibility that at 31, I have completely forgotten how to take care of myself or function properly.

I go to the store and I don't even know what to buy anymore. I agreed to eat 1 meal per day and I've upheld that deal but I have not cooked in months. I either go out with someone and have dinner or I order food for delivery.

I have not cooked since October 26, 2019. The last thing I cooked was garlic chicken and asparagus. I found this recipe on Facebook. Randy loved it and said it was a keeper.

I have a half of a gallon of milk in the fridge that expired at the beginning of January which has now become separated and chunky. My loaf of bread molded before I ever used it.

I have a mountain of mail that I have not gone through. I do not have the will or the ambition to do it. The mountain continues to grow and I'm at the point where I feel the need to ask for help to restore my house. It has not recovered from losing him.

Everything is so overwhelming. Instead, I just stay in bed because I don't want to deal with the world. I don't want to do any of it.

I am not a functional human anymore. I'm not going to put on a smile and pretend to be either.

p.s. You can still submit any question you may have about our relationship, marriage, cancer, caretaking or widow life to be answered in a future blog