I dont know why but it’s been on my mind a lot lately so I’m going to share it.
One year ago... there was so much insanity in that 1 month.
Randy was in the ER on May 1st after arriving home from our honeymoon. He had a fever so I brought him in to be checked out.
On May 9th he completed round one chemo!!
Around May 17th, I began experiencing pain in my pelvic area. At first, I thought it might be a cyst. It was painful at first but not the end of the world... yet.
Randy was admitted into the hospital on May 23rd for neutropenia and was released on May 27th.
Randy watched as, during his hospital stay, I got worse and worse. I couldn’t get in to see my doctor until May 28th.
I went into that appointment where they did exams and screenings. They came up short on what was wrong.
On this day, last year, I was curled up in bed, crying so hard because the pain was horrendous. Randy was holding me and wiping my tears. “It’s that bad, isn’t it?” He asked. I just nodded. At this point in my life, if I am crying, IT IS BAD!! My pain tolerance is high because of RSD. I was in excruciating pain and I was bleeding (which was not normal for me). The pain was so awful that I was becoming nauseated and vomiting. When the doctors don’t know what’s wrong with you, you’re helpless. You just want to feel better and no one has answers to help you in feeling better.
It wasn’t until 5/31/19 that I received answers. My doctor told me to head to the ER. There, they ran a ton of tests where I was found to have a very severe infection that would need 3 antibiotics to clear up. They also gave me morphine while I was in the hospital to help with the pain.
My husband rushed to be by my side as soon as he could. He had a sigh of relief when we finally had an answer.
It took 5 days for me to feel like I was feeling pretty normal. In that time of feeling like I was dying, Randy took care of me. He was by my side every step of the way.
I’d tell him, “you’re fighting for your life, I need to be taking care of you.” He would shake his head and tell me that right now, he needed to take care of me because in those moments, he was okay. Most days, I could put how I’m feeling aside and take care of him but this was one major time when I couldn’t. I was in rough shape but he was by my side. He took care of me. He wanted to help nurse me back to health.
These moments are critical and precious. Those are your most vulnerable moments and sometimes they show true colors.
I’ll always be forever grateful to have him. He was a true blessing.
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