Death

I'm going to struggle with this one but please bear with me.

In the past year and a half, I have faced far too much death and I just don't feel like it's normal.

On September 18, 2018, Stormy Weathers, my budgie ESA, whom I always called my baby, passed away after battling testicular cancer. There was nothing the doctors could do because his tumor was wrapped around organs. I held him in my hands as he passed away and unfortunately, his tumor obliterated his air sacs. This death was traumatizing.This was the first loss that Randy and I faced together and he had no clue as to how to comfort me. I'm the person that tends to need to be alone but he wanted to hold me. It created tension with us because I continued to ask him to leave me alone but he wouldn't. It took several weeks to work through. This is a loss that I still cry about and it still upsets me. I will always miss my Stormy.

On March 24, 2019, my roommate's cat died. This is a cat that I often joked about kidnapping because she was a sweetheart! This was a very loving cat and I just loved her. I was at lunch with a friend when I received news of her passing.

On October 3, 2019 Randy and I lost our little Ezri. This bird was his ESA. This bird was supposed to be mine but she chose him. The two of them were virtually inseparable! This was a very difficult loss and it caused our biggest fight. We were both so devastated but this was Randy's baby and he needed me to comfort him in the way he tried so hard to comfort me.

On November 6, 2019 I lost my husband. I don't think I need to tell you how devastating this loss is. I think we all know. Not a day goes by that I don't break down at least once. This is a loss that has shaken me to my core and there's nothing that anyone can do to fix this. I cannot pick up the broken pieces that are shattered before me.

Last night, March 11, 2020, my little budgie, Katabatic passed away. I have suspicions as to what happened but I don't have certainty. Katabatic was Stormy's second mate. She was struggling with the grief until Summer entered the picture.The two of them were happy together and it was so nice to see them happy and playing together after both of them had lost their mate. Katabatic didn't always like humans but there were two she did. She loved Randy and she loved Veronica. We are still waking up in shock of losing her.

At the end of the day, I just don't feel like this amount of loss in such a short time is normal. I can honestly say I don't know where to go from here but please pray for our little family at this time.