I have probably lost count of the amount of times I have urged people to count their blessings and to not take their loved ones for granted. The fact of the matter is, we don't know when our last day will be.
On November 2, 2019 I had what would be our last date day. This was "the last good day". I had no way of knowing that it would be the last good day but looking back, I am so grateful for that day and all that we did on our "Randy date day". To me and to him, it was just like any other day. We were together all day and had a quiet evening alone before our world came crashing down.
What hurts me is when I see people take their loved ones for granted. The day before Randy's funeral, there was a "mama drama" post on my local radio station's page. This man called in and questioned if he was still in love with his wife. His plan was to cheat and if he felt guilty, he would know he still loved her. This made me so unbelievably angry because you are throwing away your marriage for what? For the thrill of being with a "new" person? Meanwhile, people like me would give anything and everything to have their person back. People will fight with their spouse over something petty and refuse to forgive them... for what? Do you think those petty arguments will matter in the end? It is WASTED time. I'm telling you this from experience! You have no idea how much I hate myself for the lost time when I wasn't quick to forgive. I think it is so important to take a step back and consider what is important to you. Randy knew how important he was to me and how much I truly loved him. He also understood every time I was upset with him and to be fair, there were a few times he was upset with me but he was much quicker to forgive than me. The last time I was so angry with him, I lost about a week and a half. I was that upset. Now, ask me if I had known that time was running out if I would have stayed that angry for that long.... I would not have.
James 1:19 tells us "Be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath"
This was actually something I had as my iPhone wallpaper for awhile because I recognize that I can be quick to anger and harsh with my words. I promise you that this is an area that is still rough for me. Randy was that person that could calm me down. I no longer have that piece of me. I no longer have that person I can turn to about anything. I no longer have the person I can cry to about anything. I no longer have the person that would fight for me and be my voice when I don't want to.
At some point, you have got to ask yourself if what you are doing is that important that you can live with that regret later. Is it worth destroying your family or your relationships over? Is it worth losing a friend over? It is important to count our blessings.
Randy, when I counted my blessings, I counted you twice.
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