This is something that we always laugh at because the stereotype is that old ladies complain because someone took their seat at church and they get mad about it. It is comical. I always thought it was until I realized that there could actually be some sort of significance to it. Randy and I sat in the same pew every single week. Always. In January, I had my first encounter where someone was in that seat. As I approached the sanctuary to go in for the service, I noticed. I stood at the doors and I began to cry. Someone occupied the very seats where Randy and I always sat together. Those seats where he held my hand during the service. Those seats where I filled out our attendance card. Those seats where we sat as boyfriend/girlfriend, to fiance, to husband/wife. Those seats where we continued to grow as a couple and as Christians. I stood at those doors, with tears running down my cheeks, unable to go in and I eventually walked away and heard the sermon as best as I could from the parlor room. I could not bring myself to go in and sit somewhere else. I just couldn’t. This week, I had laid my coat in those seats but someone decided to move them. I was then forced to sit beside a man that was not my husband through this service. I tried very hard not to cry. It took everything I had to not leave the sanctuary. Everything! Human decency should tell you not to move a coat. I started lying my coat there so that someone else did not sit there. Randy would be in the sanctuary during the music and I joined him when it was over. It wasn’t necessary for me to attempt to “hold” that place before losing him. Now, I feel like I have to. This time, that failed because someone moved that placing. I had to sit by someone who wasn’t my husband. I’m not certain that I even took in everything pastor Kirk delivered.
I think it’s time that we understand that there may be some sort of significance in why someone feels the need to sit somewhere. There may be some importance behind it. We shouldn’t judge it. We should try to understand. It might be something silly but it may not be. We should be understanding because we don’t always know.
PS- you can still submit any questions you may have about our relationship, marriage, his cancer, caretaking and widowhood To be answered in a future blog
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