Without a doubt, I was the person that my husband loved most in the world. He never made that fact to be a secret. He also said numerous times throughout his 11 month battle with cancer that the only reason he was fighting was because he needed more time with me. He wasn't ready to say goodbye to me.
I learned after his passing that he asked certain people a question. He went to them and said, "If anything happens to me, will you promise me that you make sure my wife is okay?"
At first, these people were present and in contact with me frequently. They dropped off of the map within 2 weeks. I am not upset over the fact they aren't around but by the fact that they betrayed the promise that they made to my late husband. One of them in particular bothers me the most.
My husband was a wonderful man. He was selfless and always tried to help others. He was the man that would stop to help someone on the side of the road or offer the last dollar in his wallet to someone. My husband had an unwavering love for Christ. He was loving. He was kind. He was my entire world. Knowing all my husband was, there is a heartbreak in knowing that they turned their back on a promise that they made to him. If you don't intend on honoring the promise, DO NOT make it. A promise like this should be taken seriously.
When you promise to make sure that the spouse is okay after their passing, you are making a huge promise. You are promising to check in on them and to be there for them during the most difficult time in their life. You are promising to be that no matter what, you will be there for that surviving spouse. If you cannot do that, do not ever make that promise. It is a betrayal to the person that has passed.
It is a betrayal to the surviving spouse after you came forward and wanted praise after speaking about the promise. Let's be honest for a moment, if my husband wanted me to know about these promises, he would have told me himself. He wanted someone to look after me without getting a pat on the back for doing so. Equally, if you didn't intend on honoring that commitment, definitely don't come to me and tell me about it because when you choose to disappear, you will only build up resentment. I do resent the people that made this promise to my husband that don't uphold it. My husband clearly chose these people for a reason and they chose to not honor it.
I CAN say that there are a few people that made this promise, not because Randy asked them to but because they willingly promised him that they would look after me if anything were to happen to him. I was that person that meant everything to Randy and to them, they are protecting this piece of Randy. If it wasn't important, Randy wouldn't have ever asked someone to make this promise. To those that upheld this promise (whether you told me or not), thank you for honoring my husband in his life and in his death. Thank you for honoring your promise to such a beautiful man. Upholding that promise means a lot to me.
Lesson for the day:
When someone shows you their true character, believe them.
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