I grew up in the church. The church has always been there for me and it has been a big part in my life. I have read the entire bible a few times as well as other materials in an effort to grow in my knowledge and grow in my faith. I don't know everything and I will never proclaim to know everything. I do open my bible. I do participate in bible studies. I do ask questions so that I can continue to grow. I know enough to know that what happened in this Christian widow group is not only wrong but untrue.
Yesterday, I left a Christian Widow Support Group because in 1 post, I noticed a level of toxicity that I simply cannot have in my life. Although part of me wishes I had taken screenshots to show you, the other part of me is grateful I didn't because it won't be sitting here taunting me in how truly awful this is.
A member posted, asking if anyone else was grieving the loss of their husband and their marriage since there is no marriage in heaven.
I commented in asking, "Who says there is no marriage in heaven?"
A member said Luke 20:34-36
Instead of having you go look this up, I'm going to drop it here for you.
Jesus replied, "Marriage is for people here on earth. But in the age to come, those worthy of being raised from the dead will neither marry nor be given in marriage. And they will never die again. In this respect they will be like angels. They are children of God and children of the resurrection."
I'll be quite honest that I don't know what translation they use but what I have provided in NLT.
What this scripture is referring to is laid out in the book of Revelations. It is talking about the end of times and what we should expect in those times. When the Beast is set free and will roam the earth, we won't even have the churches. There will be a famine and so much more. If you are curious about the complexities of Revelations, please attend a bible study because it can be very difficult to understand without workbooks and without the ability to ask questions among other believers. It's incredibly helpful to be in the company of other Christians who are working to better understand this particular book.
I will admit that in the midst of this bible study, there was a moment when I misunderstood what someone was saying. I actually tearfully reached out to Pastor Jerry because what I thought I heard, was that my husband could get married to someone else in heaven which is not the case. I don't know why I thought I heard this but it was really upsetting to me as any widow, who genuinely loves her husband, would be.
After discussing this with fellow Christians and pastors, it is to our understanding that there wouldn't be new marriages in heaven. That doesn't mean that the relationships we have built here on Earth are null and void. In my humble opinion, the idea that it would be null and void is a downward spiral. If a wife cannot see her husband because that relationship/ marriage is over, then wouldn't any children or grandchildren be null and void too? If you are telling a widow that she won’t see her husband, what about the kids? Can they see their parents at all? Can they only see them separately? This is a domino effect and I implore you to think about the idea that you are trying to push onto widows. It's not safe and it isn't constructive, especially when we have been raised to believe that those who know and accept Christ will be Heaven bound and see our fellow believers again.
However, the replies to my comment were shocking as fellow members said that my christian friends are merely coddling me into a belief that I will see him again. This, for me, has always been a big part in my faith. I have had friends question if their priorities in their faith are in check because sometimes it is worth questioning and I would be lying if I were too tell you that I'm not one of them. Are we doing what we are doing because we are afraid of hell? Are we doing what we are doing because we want to see our loved ones? Are we doing what we are doing because we want to follow Jesus and be a follower of Christ? There have been plenty of times I have truly struggled in my faith and honestly, the only thing keeping me going at this moment is knowing that in a matter of time, I will see him again. I'm hanging on by a thread and that piece is the only thing that's keeping me going.
I just want to stress how toxic it is for you to try and convince someone that they will never see their loved ones again. I know I will see my husband again. What do you believe in? Christians believe in Jesus and they believe in heaven but what do you think is waiting for you if it isn't not only Jesus but your loved ones too? Seeing your loved ones gives hope to anyone that has lost someone. It's devastating but knowing that you will one day be reunited is a comfort that no one should try to steal from you.
1Thessalonians 4:13-14
And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died so you will not grieve like people who have to hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and was raised to life again, we also believe that when Jesus returns, God will bring back with him the believers who have died. "
John 14:1-3
"Dont let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God and trust in me. There is more than enough room in my Father's home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? When everything is ready, I will come and get you so that you will always be with me where I am. And you know the way to where I am going."
John 3:16
For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.
The amount of scriptures that I could leave for you could probably go on for days.
One thing I struggle to understand is how its possible that you can believe you will see your grandparents, parents, siblings, friends, children, pets, etc but for whatever reason, that list stops short at a spouse. That makes no sense. The Bible even tells you that some in heaven will surprise you. But also keep in mind that God created men and women. God created marriage and to have a covenant with Him within the marriage. Marriage is of God. It isn't merely a worldly thing but a communion with each other.
I know without a shadow of a doubt that I will see my husband again. I know it and I feel it. My marriage to him isn't over just because he ceased to breathe. I vowed my life to him and I will love him for the rest of my life.
If you are trying to make me believe that he's just gone.. I encourage you to read my blog post about the sign. There's no possible way you can explain it if he is just gone. My husband is in heaven and he finally sent me that long awaited sign.
Randy and I had very different approaches as far as our faith went. Randy would openly witness to anyone, including random strangers. I am reserved and answer questions that are asked. Both are effective because although he would reach many, I hope to plant seeds into friends that are not current believers. I do not shove it down their throats because it isn't an effective way to bring someone into a church that hasn't made that choice. If my friends feel safe in coming to me with their questions, that is a win and I always want people to feel that with me. I am in no way saying my husband shoved it down throats because he didn't. He never made it seem as though people must believe what he did but offered it to them if they so chose.
I do share religious content on social media. I have posted prayer requests and I have praised Him in life's triumphs. I don't demand that people believe what I do. It isn't my right to do so. Honestly, I feel as though what you're asking me to believe, is to cleanse myself of the basic knowledge that we will be reunited. It's absurd.
Sure, you can tell me that I can "believe whatever I want but that doesn't mean it's right", but there are many scriptures that prove that we will see our believer loved ones again. I believe that. I hold onto that.
I know without a shadow of a doubt that I WILL see my beloved husband once again. I eagerly await that day. He is there and waiting for me.
Please don't ever try to take that faith away from someone.
PS- if I could insert Carrie Underwood’s “See You Again” here, I would!!
✨I will see you again, this is not where it ends. I will carry you with me, til I see you again✨
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